Sunday, July 25, 2010

How to Heal My Marriage - Discover Ways to Reconnect With Your Partner

By Gillian Reynolds

"I wish I knew how to heal my marriage." If you're saying this now, it's obvious that you've reached a point where you realize your relationship is in jeopardy. Although marriage is the primary relationship in many people's lives, they don't always pay it as much attention as they need to. Many people take their spouse and the relationship for granted and suddenly wake up one day to realize that there's an incredible amount of emotional distance separating them. If you feel like this now and you don't want to even consider the idea of a separation or divorce, take heart. You can heal your relationship with your spouse and actually reconnect with them so the bond you two share is stronger than it's ever been before.


The question of how to heal your marriage obviously has several different answers. One important thing to remember is that you and your spouse loved each other so much at one point that you decided to commit your lives to each other. You have to think back to that time now. Try and remember how you treated each other. It was likely very different than the way you interact now. Over the course of time and through life's changes we often start to push our spouse's needs to the side. We no longer go out of our way to do the small things that put a smile on their face. Things like picking up flowers on the way home from work or cooking a special meal they love. We just stop putting in the effort because other things seem more important. Your spouse has to be at the top of your priority list if you hope to save the marriage. You need to go back to the time when you two first met and start treating your spouse the same way you did then. When a person feels cherished and loved, they'll treat the person they are with better. Try it and you'll notice a shift in your spouse's attitude towards you too.

Forgiveness is essential if you have any chance of healing your marriage. Small resentments can start to eat away at the foundation of the relationship until there is nothing left but emotional distance. Let go of that anger now. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your spouse's personality or the things they do that irk you, look for the positives. Learn to compliment them more and celebrate the parts of them that you love and admire. It won't take long until you see them in a new and very positive light. Quite often when one partner starts doing this the other follows suit and they both feel better about spending time with the other. Look for the best in your partner again. It will help you to remember why you married them all those years ago and why you're fortunate to be with them now.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

You can save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.

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